Lately I have been struggling with knowing that I am at the center of Gods will. I sometimes feel that I can't hear him, and have often been scared that He has just given up on me all together. But in my readings today, he has reassured me that He is always there for the people that honestly seek him. (Deut. 4:29 From there you will search again for the Lord your God. And if you search of him with all your heart and soul, you will find him.) But the main question that I have been plagued with lately is...Am I listening for what I want to hear, or am I really listening for his will? Am I honestly seeking him?
Of course, as humans, we want to know that the things that we want or are seeking are good and ok. I want to know that what I am going to school for is part of his plan for me, and that the man that I'm dating is who he has for me...things of that nature. But what if he says no. Are we really willing to give up our job, or security, our mate and say ok God-take me, start over in my and make me a new creation in you. I feel like we don't really grasp the concept of that change that would take place. We would have to be like the deciples. What if God came to you and said do this- leave where you are, don't take the time to say goodbye to anyone, don't go pack, don't fill up your car with gas, in fact don't even take your car... just follow my instructions and GO. Leave everything you know behind and FOLLOW ME. Would we really be willing to do that.
The honest truth about it is most of us-including myself-would probably argue about it. Try to negotiate our own ways into the situation. And the beauty of God is that He would let that happen...But then you would not be living the most fufilling life that is possible for you. You would be changing it into your way with your own spices added in. The trick is saying-OK God- I know that your way is best. I relenquish ALL control of my situation and my life and I give up anything that I want for my life to follow your will. To be able to live my BEST life.
Personally, I want to seek God new everyday. I want to know what he wants for me and my future, but I also want to be able to follow it when I see it. We all know that Gods way is best, but its not always the easiest. My prayer today is for myself as well as you. Start over- begin today to die to yourself and your own selfish desires and want Gods over your own.
Lord- my prayer today is to hear
your will for me. I give up my
own selfish hopes and desires
to surrender to your perfect
plan for my life!
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ: the life I now live is not my life, but the life which Christ lives in me; and my present bodily life is lived by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me."