Saturday, June 11, 2011

money. money. money. money. money

have you ever seriously thought about the fact that you cant really servive without money. i am sitting here at work right now and i have had one haircut and am now just sitting and waiting for one more haircut that is coming at the end of my day. it is so frustrating to me to think that i went to school, found a job, and work 6 days a week... my last paycheck was 222.43. can someone please explain that to me? i am getting a little better, i usually have around 2 clients a day, but still... i feel like most people my age are making money and moving out and getting married... but i feel that i am still behind. i know that i have heard it takes around 2 years to build up a clientel so maybe i am being super impatient but its making me nervous. i didnt account for this on my 2 year plan. but at least im not the only one that is sitting back here and the others definitely have more experience then me so idk if that should make me feel better, like its not just me or worse like idk if it will get better. so i guess we will keep posted.
i know that god says that you should keep your identity in him and not worry about other peoples lives, but i cant help but be frustrated that others lives are moving so much faster then mine...

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Well oporation get my butt in shape is not working out today as well as I would have hoped. Why can I never get things right when it comes to losing weight. maybe its because i will work ouit for a week and then feel an inch smaller and be done. so, this is my last shred of laziness- goal for the summer, lose 20 lbs.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

For the love of love

My life has been consumed with weddings lately. It seems that every where I turn someone else is engaged, their wedding is this week or they are on their honeymoon. I'm super excited for all of these people, most of them are my closest friends...but I can't help but be disappointed in myself at the same time. All of this is just everything that I had planned for my own life by this time. Its really hard for me to realize that I'm almost twenety five and have 2 year plan or really any plan at all when it comes to knowing when or if I will ever get married. I don't know if its jealousy or stress or just wishing that I had someone to go to sleep with every night and wake up to every morning and spend all of my time with and thinking about.
Times like this are when I'm glad that I have God and a hope. I know that His plan is better then mine. And maybe I am doing something wrong as to where God doesn't want to bless me with the desires of my heart.
So that leaves me now to try and figure out what to do now. Should I keep my 2 year plan or give it up and just roll with whatever. I hate being out of control but maybe that is what I'm supposed to be learning right now...
we will see