Friday, March 12, 2010

Present? Future?

Here lately I have been feeling unbelievably lost. I know I am a christian...but do you ever question it?? I feel like I ask God over and over again to lead me in his path and for all the direction that he has to offer, but I still feel like I get nowhere. It's also like everytime I try new things...It is only showing me what I do not want to do.

I was a substitute for the first time today, and like I stated earlier, all it did was show me that I DO NOT want to be a teacher. I mean granted I was teaching a BD class with the wildest and most high strung kids that I have ever met, but dealing with young kids and trying to make the cooporate just really isn't my thing. I am definately not a patient person. AT ALL. But I have been out of a job for almost two months now and I have NO money to do anything, even put gas in my car so you gotta go whatever comes along.

I have had a few interviews with Old Navy lately and that seems like it is going to work out, But I just really don't know if that is the place for me. Nothing against them at all but I just don't know that I could be that excited about Old Navy clothes or selling those little credit card things. Along with that, I have started going to the gym soo much lately and I feel like I am doing nothing but getting bigger. Which is extremely frustrating and makes me not want to even go to the gym at all. grrrr.This is just not working out so great for me.

I am not meaning this to sound at all like I am throwing a pity party for myself. I just need some direction, and I dont' know where to find it. Being jobless leads to definately not feeling very productive throughout the day. And not to mention that everytime I turn around I feel like one of my friends is getting married or engaged or in a relationship and I can't seem to find a decent guy to save my life. Everyone that I have been hooked up with lately are only wanting to hang out, drink, and not looking for anything serious. Its pretty much getting a little old.

So the just of this would be the things that I am looking for...
1) Direction/ a job
2) results from my ridiculous workouts
3) Descent people in my life ie. friends, boys

Sooooo guess I'll keep you posted. Hmmmm

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