Thursday, December 24, 2009

If God is a god of second chances...why aren't we?

So in my midst of being in the most perfect relationship that could be possible. I made a huge mistake and got totally caught up in my attraction and let my lust for another strong christian take over. I admit this to you to ask a question...

When mistakes happen, or even almost happen, do you think that means that God wants you to delete that part of your life completely? There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord makes everything happen for a reason, and "makes everything come together for the good of those who worship Him." So with that being said, does that mean that things cannot be fixed?

The person that I was with seems to think not. I do not for the life of me understand this train of thought. Nothing was wrong with our relationship. We loved spending time together, we were getting to know each other and having a great time being around each other. The only thing that was wrong with this in any way was our overwhelming attraction for each other.

I really need some advice on this. He does not want to try and talk about anything or work anything out or in any way try and reconcile anything... But I have prayed and talked and read and totally given this whole situation up to God and no part of me at all feels like letting this go is the right thing to do. He was everything that I could have ever wanted in a man or a friend. Not to mention the kind that does everything that you could want and spoils the crap out of you to treat you like the princess that you are. We were bother overwhelmingly attracted to each other but I will take full responsibility for what happend between us.

I am trying to understand where he is coming from, saying that he does not feel like the Lord would be leading him in that direction or in that situation. But why would God be telling us two different things? Why would he be putting so heavily on my heart that there is nothing right about us not working on things and be telling him that there is nothing right about us trying to. What should I do in this situation. I don't want to let go. I don't think that there in any way that there is another man that could possibly be so perfect for me in my life. I know that if its not him then it is someone so much better for my plan that God has for me. But I feel such a strong tugging at my heart that letting this go and giving up is not right.

Has anyone out there been in this situation that could help or give me any advice? Any thing that I could say to make what I am trying to say more understood? I do not want to be manipulitive or try and argue or start a fight, I would just like for my feelings to be considerd in regards to the future of this/our situation...


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