As Christians, what has God really put us on this earth for. I know that our main purpose is to be able to tell others about him and reach as many people as possible on the earth during our time for his kingdom. But when It comes to ourselves, how are we supposed to reach others and tell them about how we are supposed to be so changed by our heavenly father when it is so hard to live that life ourselves. My biggest problem with this is being to scared that I am going to be labeled as a hypocrite. I am not perfect and I am sure that everyone that I have come into contact with knows that I have definately gone through my own time of trying to find myself and the last person that I have shown them that I was looking to was upward to God. I have looked for satisfaction and self worth through just about every type of guy and even girl friend and have only realized through this how much I truly need anything BUT the things of this world. I have been trying to fill a void in my life for so long of just truly wanting to figure out who I am. With all of my experiences, The main thing that I have learned is that nothing in this world can define your self worth, Nothing can define who you are. It is not a thing, nothing tangible. It is a feeling. Something that only you can have for yourself. You can't even really rely on what others think of you. You can only think highly of yourself and know that you are doing the best you can and living for the one and only father in heaven.
Another part of finding out who you are is coming to the realization that people are not forgiving and are NOT going to change their opinion of you once they have made it. So there is absolutely no point in putting all of your eggs into deciding how others view you. You must have your own vision of yourself. Not only how you view yourself but a focused vision for your life. Where are you going? What do you want? What are you NOT going to settle for? Along with the previously stated hard lessions that I have learned this is one of the main ones. No matter how hard headed you are going to chose to be to the people around you, do not settle for things just to prove a point. There are people that I have let come into my life that I knew from the beginning were are terrible match for me. But chosing to be stubborn and not wanting others to think that I couldn't hadle myself, I set myself up for so much more heartache then one person should really be able to handle in a life time and there was no one that I could blame but myself.
I am starting a life changing regimine today. February 1, 2010. Making an outlined and clearly stated goal the plan for my life. Starting with God, reading his world with a purpose every single day. I have goals and dreams and I want this year to be different from any of the other 23 so far. The mistakes and Hurts that I have caused my own self and others are a thing of the past for me. I am making myself a woman of purpose and integrity so that everyone around me will see God shining through my life.
Here goes change. Scary, pure CHANGE
2 Cron 7:14 "If my people will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways then I will hear them from heaven and forgive their sins and heal their land"