What is Grace?

What is GRACE really? You hear through God's word that you have been saved by grace, not of anything that you can do yourself. But what does this mean. Is it simply God's love? And how many forms of grace are there.



When I think of the word grace, the verse Ephesians 2:8 comes to mind. It was a very significant tatoo on someones arm and is a passage that has stuck with me over the last year. You can only come to the Father through his GRACE. But how many forms does that take? And how does God show His unwavering grace to us?



The definition that I have found of "GRACE" is 1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion. 2. A sense of fitness or 3. A temporary immunity or exemption.



So there are many ways that grace can be defined and seen in the world and in people. I feel like I am experiencing so much grace in my life right now through all of these way. There seems to be a beauty that cannot be explained in the people in my life and the shapes that situations are taking. Things are falling into place in a beautiful and effortless way. Thing are walking in, and out of my life and it is all happening as if I am in a dream. Sometimes I feel that I have no control over the way things are going, but then I look around and I don't really want to. I love that I feel that there is a higher power putting the puzzel of my life together just the way that he has it planned. I have learned from my mistakes and the times when I took the decision into my own hand, that it has turned out horribly and in no way that outcome that I had in my own mind. But when I know that the things at hand are out of my control and all I can do is sit back and watch my life unfold, there is an overwhelming sense of peace. This has been something extremly hard for me to learn, not only with life experiences but with guys, family, and probably every other aspect as well. But God has never ceased to show me the right way. And that his amazing grace is the only way that things will pull themselves together.



I also feel the grace through my friends and relationships that I have made. Being single is something that I have never really experienced until this last year. I was (yes that girl) that always had the boyfriend or the relationship and was always looking for the way to feel like I "belonged" and that usually had to mean to someone. God has shown me many things over this last year of being completely on my own though. 1. Friends are his gift to us. They show us and teach us things and give us advice that no other person in our life can do. You can have experiences with them that far outweigh anything that you could do with just one significant other. You can get a look into an intamate side of other peoples lives. 2. Everything (I mean ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING) happens for a reason. There is nothing in your life that doesn't teach you something, whether it be good or bad, you will learn from it. You learn who your friends are, you learn how to let go, you learn who will be there for you and how to be there for others, you learn how to be alone and be ok with who you are, and you learn how to move on. Sometimes you can feel like everything is going your way and nothing could be wrong with this...then the rug is pulled out from under you, maybe this is God saying you are ready for the hardwood floor :) You never know, things might come back around and be better then you could have ever dreamed about.



The last and most important from these definitions that I have found are the temporary immunity or exemption that God shows us. What in the world would we do if God judged us for every little thing that we did wrong. Our lives would be a constant termoil. He shows us this through our friends too, and our parents. There are times I know that I have hurt someones feelings or done something for myself not thinking of how it was going to make others feel. This are times when I have experiencd grace and forgivness. Just living life everyday for examply. The bible says that the penalty for our sins should be death. I would have been dead and age 1 when I told my mom that she couldn't tell me what to do..(not much has changed) But God took these penalties away from me and gave me life, to show his grace to me.



Through His GRACE, he gave us life, a life all our own. There is nothing the same about any of us and we are all here to learn from each other and help each other, to love to laugh, to teach, to preach, to open doors for ourselves and others and sometimes close them so that other ones can be opened for us. We should live each day thinking about the GRACE that we have been given and that we can give to others.



Forgive people. Love people. Change people



XO-C

lonnnggg time

Whoa, so much has happend since the last time I wrote. You think that you have everything figured out then it all falls apart again and you're right back to where we started.

Once again, it has to do mostly with a guy. I met someone new. And of course he seemed like the perfect little prince charming. But of course, all good things will definately come to an end. He seemed so amazing. And everything was wonderful, soooo we hung out, alot and then he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Then he put it on facebook, it takes me four days to accept the facebook request. So that lasts about a week, then i asked him how things were because he seemed so weird, and he was like, no acutally I don't think that I want this. Soooo that didn't last long. And once again, I'm stuck wondering what in the world did I do. Then of course facebook is the devil. I get on there like every 5 seconds to see what he is doing and all those other stupid girls that he is talking to. Totally not healthy but what can you do.

So back to square one and where to go from here. i have a great job, and I'm back in school for hair. Which I absolutely LOVE! my job right now i'm only getting to stay at the front desk, but its still the atmosphere and thats pretty great. And I have the most amazing friends in the world. Heather is always there for me, and we are about to go to the beach for a few days, just the girlfriends. So that will be so fun. But I am still just wondering what in the world I am going to do. What is it that I keep doing wrong. I just dont get it. I didn't call him all the time, I didn't try and make him do all kinds of crazy things or try and make him hang out with me all the time, and still...I wasn't what he wanted.

When am I gonna get to be what someone wants?

Night Of Worship

Tonight was the Night of Worship at Blackshear Place and it was probably one of the most amazing thing that I have ever gotten to be a part of. Being as how I am musically inclined anyway, that is definately my favorite way to interact with my Lord! So tonight was soo moving. It definately brought me to tears mulitple times. There was a few songs that they like to add slides to up on the screans and most of them were of God and his cross and you could just see the pain and sorrow in his face. It is so un-imaginable to me that someone could do that for people. Like people he didn't even know. He died to save us. I know that it is something that most people, christian and non alike, have hear millions of times. But to really think about eactly what happend on that day. He knew that we would hurt him and betray him and ignor him and do our own thing most of the time, that we would lie and cheat and do irresponsible things and yet he still said, I love you enough to die for you. I could go on about this for days. God is so beyond amazing.

New Me :)

I started my new job on Tuesday! And I love love love love love it!!!! Seriously to the point that I was off today and it kind of made me sad.

I have kind of always felt like the black sheep in my family. My parents and sister have a very strict path that they want to follow. My dad knew what he wanted to do in middle school, and my mom didn't know exactly what she wanted, but knew that there was only one way to start and that was to go to college. My sister is the same way, she has changed her mind about her career, but not going to actual college was never an option. Me on the other hand...Like to think of myself as a free spirit. ha. I never wanted to go to college and I definately didn't want to be a teacher or a business woman or anything that required just sitting behind a desk. But with two parents that are in education, not going to school wasn't an option for me. So I feel like I definately wasted 4 years of my life at N. Ga. Once they started to see this however, I finally got my way. Under their very weary eye I might add.

They don't really understand and they think that I am just playing and wasting my life, but I have never been so excited about something in my entire life. I went to orientation on Tuesday and got all of my classes. And in the same day, I started my new job at Kathy Adams Salon. I think that one pretty much goes down as the best day of my life so far. I stil can't get over how awesome it is and how excited I am about finally starting my career in exactly what I want to do. Now all I have to do is keep hoping that my parents will learn to take me seriously.

I do want to do this to have fun, but I want to do it for other people as well. I mean serisouly, how amazing do you feel when you leave the salon? You feel like a new you. I want to do that for people. And use my creative mind to do it.

Sooooo- Here's to a new chapter...and a new me :)

Getting Started

In my last post I was talking about how uncertain things have been lately. I have had so many pressures from my parents and friends to grow up and to make "big girl" decisions. Little did they know, you cant really make decisions when there is really no where for you to go. I have been unemployed for a little over a month now, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been filling out applications, and I have done all of my stuff to start school, but I can't really tell the school when to start classes. haha! So basically, I have been stuck in a spot that wasn't going anywhere and all I could do was pray about it and ask God when his time would be right.

Welllllll, good news! My prayers have been answerd. I got a job today! And not only is it a job, it is my dream job with so much room for me to grow! Its at Kathy Adam Salon across from the Mall of Ga and I get to start TOMORROW!! How great is that?! And on top of all of this, my orientation for cosmetology school is tomorrow so I will know when my schedule is and how everything is going to be going.

I really have never been so excited about something in my life. I finally have some direction and how things are going to be able to work out. It has been so frustrating lately going from the freedom of college and being on my own, kinda doing my own thing and then being 23 and moving back home with no job and not going to school. Definately something that makes you feel unproductive and worthless. But things are dfinately starting to look up. I am so excited about my new beginning.

There is only one thing that is still a little depressing. I just really wish my parents would take my future goals in life seriously. They always think that I am just playing around and that all want to do is be artistic and not serisouly pursue a career. But actually that is exactly what I want to do. I want a serious career in my artistic field doing exactly what I want to do. So thats why I'm going to do.

Start a new beginning.

Change of Mind

Change of mind=Change of attitude/situation..

These are words that were just spoken to me by someone that I think is a very wise person. There are just times that simple little words, probably even ones that you have heard so many times can really change the way that you think about your situations. Sometime, all you have to do is just change you mind. Change the way that you think. It doesn't always have to be about changing your whole life, or moving, or getting out of your comfort zone even. It could simply be just changing the way you think. You can just change what you want.

My life has change drastically in the last year. Sometimes I don't even know how to put it all together. I mean, I was always the girl that loved life. I was the one that was surrounded by friends, always in the middle of the drama but had the boyfriend to fall back on so it didn't matter. I was in school, only doing it because thats why my parents wanted, but they were happy so life was good. I thought I had it all together. The main problem was though, that the relationships that I was surrounding myself with were artificial ones and I definately was the farthest away from being in the center of Gods will that I could possibly be. I was living for the moment, I just wanted to guy, and the friends and the beer or whatever drink someone was willing to buy for me and give me some attention. And all within a month, I canged everything. I decided that college wasn't the thing for me...so I moved home. All within that same time, my relationship ended, and I moved away from my friends (the ones that I had been closest to for the last 4 years anyway) and I was not in school...so I wasn't exactly on the top of my parents happy list. I went from having two jobs to none at all. And with that happening, the money that I had never ever hurt for was definatly dwindling. (Right now I am living off of the gift cards that my mom gave me for Christmas. Hmmm)

So now that I am feeling like I am at the very bottom of where I could go. I just decided to CHANGE MY MIND. I am not in a bad place right now, I am simply in a crossroads.

I decided that I was going to apply for cosmetology school. Which I just got into. Because that is the only that I have always had my heart set on doing. And I just got a call for a job interview at a salon around the Mall of Georgia. Things are starting to look up. I have definately made some new friends.::that I would like to say are better (fit) for me.:: And I have started reading trhough the new testimate in the Bible...b/c that is ultimately the only place that you are going to find what Gods will even is. You can't begin the be in the center if you don't even know what you are looking for.

So CHANGE-

Changing my friends, my school, my take on relationships...even my HAIR. (yup, I'm a brunette)

Where is it gonna go?! ((Fear is just a word))

Present? Future?

Here lately I have been feeling unbelievably lost. I know I am a christian...but do you ever question it?? I feel like I ask God over and over again to lead me in his path and for all the direction that he has to offer, but I still feel like I get nowhere. It's also like everytime I try new things...It is only showing me what I do not want to do.

I was a substitute for the first time today, and like I stated earlier, all it did was show me that I DO NOT want to be a teacher. I mean granted I was teaching a BD class with the wildest and most high strung kids that I have ever met, but dealing with young kids and trying to make the cooporate just really isn't my thing. I am definately not a patient person. AT ALL. But I have been out of a job for almost two months now and I have NO money to do anything, even put gas in my car so you gotta go whatever comes along.

I have had a few interviews with Old Navy lately and that seems like it is going to work out, But I just really don't know if that is the place for me. Nothing against them at all but I just don't know that I could be that excited about Old Navy clothes or selling those little credit card things. Along with that, I have started going to the gym soo much lately and I feel like I am doing nothing but getting bigger. Which is extremely frustrating and makes me not want to even go to the gym at all. grrrr.This is just not working out so great for me.

I am not meaning this to sound at all like I am throwing a pity party for myself. I just need some direction, and I dont' know where to find it. Being jobless leads to definately not feeling very productive throughout the day. And not to mention that everytime I turn around I feel like one of my friends is getting married or engaged or in a relationship and I can't seem to find a decent guy to save my life. Everyone that I have been hooked up with lately are only wanting to hang out, drink, and not looking for anything serious. Its pretty much getting a little old.

So the just of this would be the things that I am looking for...
1) Direction/ a job
2) results from my ridiculous workouts
3) Descent people in my life ie. friends, boys

Sooooo guess I'll keep you posted. Hmmmm